There were 3 chicks in my bed I didn't know when I got home. Now I know all of them. Biblically.
her dad's the mattress king, she's genetically engineered to be good in bed
I still havent given him the valentines day card i got him. I feel like just writting...."sorry for the horrible blow job i gave u last night." and just giving it to him.
He tried to slow-dance with me in bed. IN BED.
You left the resturant and came back with a McDonalds burger in your pocket so ya...no more pregaming birthday dinners. Especially since it wasn't your birthday.
i think when the guy sitting in the corner singing tells you you're too drunk, you're too drunk.
In his defense he just bought a bong like a week ago so he's still in that honeymoon phase.
Me and him getting it in is for special occasions only. Like Christmas and when they bring the McRib back.
I thought that wasn't a thing ever since she showed you her vag on the dance floor
Had a dream that you were held at gun point. But I killed the guy. Then we embraced in the biggest hug while everyone around us clapped... Kinda how I imagine our wedding...
Preparing for the bar exam has made my whatever disorder you said I have act up again
Sometimes being bisexual is a curse. Turns out I banged both of her older twin brothers last summer.
I am putting clothes on to go find a brownie
In my experiences, brownies are better naked.
ready for a night of bad decisions, horrible moral standards, and an unhealthy amount of illegal substances.
We smell like vodka and hangover
Randomize
