So my shaver died while I was trimming...ya know. And now it is half way done. I don't think there's currently any aesthetic in keeping it this way...
Like my Aunt Merial always says ... big dicks, big dicks.
ugh. people who use coupons make me wanna punch a baby.
cant help it. i get a boner every time that shake weight infomercial comes on
the spit in my mouth is still 99% not mine.
so i finally decided to ask her out. she started mumbling, then she puked on me. i think i'll try again when she's sober
My broken door handle makes it really inconvient for when i need to puke at red lights.
you can't wake me up at 4am to suck your dick and then give me a high five at the bar
Chicken wings don't come back up an through your nose as easily as you'd think
I paused mid sex to tell him I wished I'd taken up barrel racing so I could ride better.
Weekend plan is a big bag of dope, delivery food, Bollywood marathon and masterbating my dick raw.
I'm going to miss recovering from hangovers on the beach. Rolling around in my dorm bed and watching Friends reruns is just gonna feel like slumming it.
She's really sweet and cute, but when she drinks, she becomes way too proud of her bush.
On my way to return shoes I bought so that I can afford to buy a pregnancy test. Is this adulthood?
I'm gunna wear a purple dress, so if you see someone looking confused and lost wearing purple it's probably me
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