the bitch is dead man
YOUR DOG DIED?
no i meant my mom has passed out .. so i'll be over soon.
come pick me up. please. i just puked in my lap. bring pants.
we need to find that guy that whips out his cock at the bar again
But like now everytime I pee I just think... wow I had sex with him on this toilet.
yea last night was a repeat of newyears...exept this time it ivolved a fish costume, throw up, a hole in the roof, and cops...lots of cops
Dress was in bathroom covered in shards of glass, earrings on living room floor, bracelet still missing, purse in backyard. The cast of Princess Bride all left the bar to make sure I was ok. Perfect night
I remember saying your puke looked like a jellyfish and you got very offended.
Right now he's sitting in the chair pointing to me to go away. He's trying to have quiet time with his penis.
His cat must have been laying on his dick, because now my face is covered in hives
I just want to have sex and eat dumplings. Is that so much to ask?
Two words: blizzard sex
I would ride that face into the sunset
I just want cinnabon and vodka.
I swear I have some evil slut demon in me when I'm blacked out
Don't we all.
I’m literally naked drinking a beer and I gotta leave in 6 minutes for work lol
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