He started yelling "we're making a baby" mid thrust.. probably not the right guy for me right?
We were making out when she went into convulsions. At least now I know she's allergic to peanuts.
started to yawn and threw up hamburger helper instead. awesome night.
He poured syrup on all those broken dishes because "syrup is magical, and by the time we wake up, they'll be fixed."
Look what our sorority has done to us...we're hitting on girls in hopes of getting an awesome little.
Had to make a piece of abstract art. Your dick is in it
when he put a condom on for a handjob cuz he didn't want to "blow his load in the car" i started to question my choice in guys..
I'm watching porn in spanish. Thats studying right?
We were fucking in the back of my truck and no joke a skunk came up and sprayed us. How am I supposed to explain this to my parents
Lol, yeah it'll be fun,but will it be cereal and dick pics fun?
did the thing where I quickly swipe right to every girl on Tinder & matched with my sis. God I hope swiping carelessly is hereditary
He corrected my spelling during sexting.
Wish me luck on my new penis adventure
I got really worried when i woke up and there weren't any missed booty calls from him between 3 and 5 am. Apparently his gf is in town ...
i should probably stop doing things just because i think they’re funny. i’m not going to.
Randomize
