But, the reference to being horny and then blending a banana is troubling
someone get that fucking seahorse.
So instead of cumming in her, I peed in her...
What did she do!?
I didn't tell her...
That can be our thanksgiving, vodka and cornbread. Just like the pilgrims.
Don't bite the hand that gives you multiple orgasms
Ah that type of Dick. I think my phones trying to make me less of a whore by capitalizing Dick. That way it looks like I'm talking about a dude not penis
he also begged me to fake an orgasm when he couldn't get me to come.
What made this night legendary was getting pulled over for looking suspicious while wearing an iron man mask
I KNEW IT. I HAD A FEELING. THIS IS GODS CURSE. BREAK UP WITH A SEX GOD. GET ONE OF HIS PEASANTS.
Just caught myself checking an online porn site while in a strip club. Might have a problem.
quick, give me some iron man trivia, i'm going to make this girl regret quoting tony stark in her tinder bio
eh, I feel I'm heading for a breakdown and I need to get it out of the way before I start writing that lab report.
You don't know the capacity of my vagina
I love that we can live in a world where I can Google "Harry Potter lizard" and an illustration for my dream pops up
Finally fucked my buddy's mom!! We are both ten years older and for her it really shows but i hit it!!
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