Remember that sex scene from American Psycho?
Ya, why?
We should try that some time.
So I'm driving and this guy next to me at the stop light is reving his engine and honking at me. Motherfucker thinks that's because I'm asian and drive a honda I'm automatically going to race him
she keeps a pillow, blanket, and a pack of saltines under the bathroom sink, for "rough nights".
shes on the floor puking and texting simultaneously.
dude my 8 year old cousin is allowed to drink wine coolers. as long as its infront of my aunt. wtf
Jus posted an album so big that it takes my manhood into question
She gave me a BJ with my hoodie on. it was like i was blowing myself.
That's what happens when you park you car under a perfectly good balchony I can puke off of
It probably isn't a good idea to go home with last night's hookup's brother. And sister.
Probably is probably an understatement.
I like to get drunk just like anyone else but not to the point of sticking a rubber tube up my asshole
It's just unfortunate. She's a 28 year old woman who looks as if a pelican and ET had a baby. With braces.
My professor laid down on the floor and told us a story that involved being naked covered in Vaseline with a pumpkin on your head. No lie. This is going to be a great semester.
apparently they stopped looking at spit swabs under the microscope in bio ever since they found a sperm cell in one students sample
Ive already seen two fights and a clown urinating in the middle of the street. Hello Halloween 2014.
I was gonna respond but i couldnt figure out a way to rearrange 'fuck his brains out' to sound grammatically correct
Randomize
