Nice. Sry i missed. Also sorry that i pissed on my toothbrush last nite
Sink seemed easy target but balance was no good
You were parading around the bar chugging girls drinks and then asking them if you could buy them a drink. It was actually genius
I'm taking child development now so if you get pregnant i can raise your child no worries
I didn't mind getting the stomach flu from him. we had great sex AND I'm seven pounds lighter
Apparently i was peeing on things and marking my territory. I broke their light socket too. Needless to say im banned from their apartment.
So yes, he's hot, a scorpio, an artist and a perfect cock. I think my bi train just arrived in gay town.
I think it's time we have the "weird fetish" talk.
am i so blindsided by his great personality that i'm hooking up with an ugly guy?
i thought you knew
Just threw up. It looks like I may have swallowed a cigarette.
Drunk dialed the ex last nigh; turns out I miss dialed. The stranger who answered played along and apologized for sleeping with my cousin. She sent me a txt this morning to let me know.
Kindest stranger ever. Marry that girl.
Let us ponder on the good times. Ya know when the Jonas brothers were incapable of growing facial hair and I didn't fully understand what a dick looks like
Yeah I mean I think I need to stop living off of snacks and alcohol
So i had a lucid dream about blowing myself. This is why people love me
OMG WE ARE UP TO THREE MINORS WORKING HERE. I AM NOT READY FOR THIS MID LIFE CRISIS.
I would give away three of my own ribs to be able to eat myself out.
...ew
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