Doo rag and shades in the bar. You are missing your future husband.
Who were the five players on the alien team from space jam?
ugh. people who use coupons make me wanna punch a baby.
Can someone please explain to me how I got rugburn on my tits?
why im i the only drunk person in the library?
So chef boyardee smells exactly the same after you throw it up
i literally discovered the exact same thing last week. i had the lasagna one
ravioli
areolas are like halos for boobs.
Im making gravy in a lace bra and jeans. Just call me the southwern wet dream
You kept trying to use my cat as a napkin.
It's time for everyone's favorite Wednesday night game... WHEEL OF. VODKA!!!!!
say penis size is all related to how funny you are and then tell a feminist joke. if she laughs, you got double points, if she slaps you, she probably wasn't going to sleep with you anyway
No more. You can't have nice things, and vodka is a nice thing.
My dick looks like crazy bread
pics are now mandatory
I don't know man, I woke up and shes here acting like she knows me, wearing my clothes, and scrambling eggs in my kitchen. I don't know her.
You were drinking with me last night, I warned you.
Why are there four guys spooning on the living room floor?
They're still there? Shit. They were supposed to leave after they hugged it out.
Randomize
