I knew my chances of getting laid had increased after she walked into my room and yelled "DICK TIME"
I'm not saying we can't have sex tonight, I'm just saying we have to work it around Lost.
Who spends 33 dollars at Taco Bell and lives???
There is too much vodka and too much dick.
And as far as being fat goes I just did like 20 minutes of p90x and now i'm eating frosting out of the container....
when i tried to put the condom on he started screaming about how he didn't want his groceries bagged
Woaahhhh there! We are JUST drunk fucking. Don't call me "baby".
i'm in that phase where i'll swallow anything except food
I'm about to sell my hamster for weed money I'll call you in a few
Juss got out of jail; shes still in there tryin to sing her abc's backwards bc the cops neva asked her too... Whebever she gets to t she starts singin the tequilla song
There's a drag queen here that reminds me strongly of you. You should try crossdressing.
You will drink beer in a kiddie pool in your back yard but you wont bring a girl home
We are so on opposite sides of the boobs spectrum
What can i say, my face is nice and my body is just unreal. And my beer pouring/stealing is incredible \n
Did you come home, throw out a ton of shoes, then leave again?
That is exactly what I did.
Randomize
