He just left - my room smells like that cheese they put on nachos and cigarettes and beef
Yo quero taco bell
after a month anything with tits is on the radar
Then you jumped off your bed with your arms outstretched, yelled "I'm Goliath, watch out New York!" and then began singing the Gargoyles theme song as you 'soared' around your room.
Don't be ridiculous, the Gargoyles theme song has no words. How could I sing that mess?
You just started going "da da da da da! da da da da da! DA DA!!" then going "swoosh" as you glided about.
she asked if she could keep her bee antennas on during her mugshot. i love halloween.
An alarm set every 45 minutes saying "FATTY" and one every afternoon saying "CASPER" every day until spring break is a foolproof plan to being bikini ready
i knew she was desperate at the point in which she started showing me her naked pics on her phone
I got to the point where it seemed like she had 8 giant breasts instead of just two
I'm at your house, laying with your dog, eating taco meat, take your time.
Hey did where's my bong?
In the tree out back .... Top branch on the right
Should I bother to ask?
When I realised he had a girlfriend I just started telling them about my ex and how I write poetry about him. Which I then read to them. They just gave me pity looks and left me to finish my spliff alone.
I never thought I'd say this, but I think I just saw the hottest pregnant chick alive.
Also, I found out that my dad has the name of every boy that I've ever dated and their physical description, car type and tag number stored in his computer.
Apparently Angela went missing once and he says he learned were to look first and that it's best to have information on hand.
The hint wasn't even a hint. it said "stop talking to her" that's pretty straightforward
Good news. His dicks gotten wayy bigger since high school. I love Thanksgiving break.
Swiping left on your brother's Tinder account is possibly the worst way to learn he broke up with his girlfriend.
Randomize
