I didnt pay $190 for a fake with a new middle name of Vane..
Dude if it is possible to orgasm from shitting i think it just happened.
Worst part was I had to fart super bad and didn't want to ruin the room so I farted in a pillow and threw it under the bed.
Currently standing on top of my parents leather couch with no pants on playing helicoptor with my penis. You?
I never want to hear the words unlimited shots for boobs in the same sentence ever again.
and let me tell you something, handcuffs are surprisingly uncomfortable when they arent being used in a sexual manner
Walking in on a gay threesome, with a girl in the corner watching and taking vid is a reason to not only knock, but to never go to Savannah.
Yeah sorry about that. I got pulled into the Russian student society's end of term party. There was too much vodka and eurodance to come help you pack.
No apologies necessary. Just give me sex and Pop Tarts, and we'll call it even.
Thanks for putting up with my drunk friend last night. Its all fun and games till someone pukes macaroni under your fridge.
He said he wanted to sit next to the fountain so he could "watch the water hit the other water".
I know I'm not a hook-up kind of chick but he is a firefighter & an EMS worker. I felt like maybe I'd be a good person if I let a good person inside of me
you know your booty call is really trying when he offers to pay the toll for the bridge you have to cross to get to his house
can you bring the lube to algebra tomorrow
You can help me! We'll make an occasion of it. Have some rum, make some smores, condemn the email system to the pits of hell...
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