Waaait I'm alsleep in myt car somewhere
im glad we only fight about serious things like the hills and disney scene it
I wish scraping a resin bowl could be considered cleaning.
i guess i had fun last thursday night because when i got on the drunk bus this thursday night everyone immediatley started chanting my name and telling me to do a bus flip
whats a bus flip?
idk but apparently i invented it
12 garbage cans filled with water, a beer can floating in every garbage can, 20 ft. apart and you shoot with dodge balls..and thats only how the night began
You insisted on squirting shots of captain morgan in your mouth with a turkey baster by like 930.
After you tried speaking to him in whale you asked if you could see his "blow hole." That's how bad it was.
So, I'm drinking, and I put my head down in the table. The cat jumped up to check on me, I have a cat sober monitor.
well one of us has to be wrong and it's not going to be me
is it too much for me to say that i have a ziplock bag with ice in it in my underwear?
Hey, if a dude can't randomly belt out Whitney Houston tunes from time to time, is life really worth living??
The part where he comes over and ignores you isn't what makes me mad about that story... It's the fact that he ate your tacos, AND THEN proceeded to ignore you. That's cold hearted.
Look I'm really hungover so let's try this again. In 5 mins you're gonna call me and tell me that you're on your way with xannies, iced coffee and a back rub
Ever get that feeling that you're the back up booty call and half way through securing the fake date excuse to try to get in your pants, the guy hears back from the original booty call and drops the conversation with no explanation?
Call me a snob but I'm not banging chicks with more fingers than teeth.
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