Just pulled my keys, cell-phone and a pack of cigarettes out from between my cleavage. This one guy's face was priceless.
I had his cock in my mouth and he still wouldn't shut up about Star Wars.
nothing worse than sitting down ready for a solid porn sesh to find out your internet is out. comcast owes me a handjob
I just dropped macaroni right down my cleavage. For the sake of our future, I'm really banking on this being a turn on for you.
There will be two dogs there to provide supervision. Not to worry.
I feel like somebody took my brain out. Stomped on it with cleats. And then put it back together with a glue stick. Thank you.
Well two things you gotta know if you're gonna live here. your alcohol tolerance is gonna need to go up, and people do blow. Get used to it. Nobody is gonna pressure you into it. That shits expensive
This girl ordered Hershey syrup and red wine and he made it for her
Seriously I'm dying. All my insides are fighting their way out of me. With light sabers and machetes.
Nothing. Its like my body doesn't know how to function on a Saturday when its not hungover and/or still drunk.
As a courtesy going forward if you could not bang in my house that would be nice
i just remember that i was on top of him and he wasnt contributing to the event much.. god i hope he wasnt asleap.
DONT YOU DARE YELL AT ME. YOU'RE THE ONE WHO TRIED TO PAY FOR THE CAB WITH YOUR PANERA REWARDS CARD.
He looks like Aladdin, and that's about all he's got going for him.
The guy at the liqiour store just said "Wow haven't seen you in awhile, is everything okay?"
Randomize
