It was kind of weird
What did your mom walk in?
She flung her tampon across the room.
you're dressed like that and you're on the rag, that's false advertisment
Mother fucker. I'm a 30J now. I'm fucking speechless
I don't even want to think what you did to boys being that drunk and horny.
Then I wouldn't suggest looking at the pictures from last night.
I wonder if I could sublet my bathtub to anyone.
And after getting thrown out of the frat house, getting carried up the hill for a half an hour, puking 5 times, and almost getting stopped by campus security, she still insisted he sleep with her. Gotta give her credit, even blacked she kept her eyes on the prize
I just found out my college boyfriend's nickname is actually a Dutch word for little cucumber.....it all makes sense now.
Their engagement party consisted of them doing shots, yelling at each other, leaving for 30 minutes, and coming back with smiles.
I'd say they're off to a great start!
the fat lady is now rubbing her stomach and staring at me. I hate trains
Reading old FB posts. Why did I ever stop drinking?
my vagina is starting to think like a penis, and I'm not even slightly worried
i'm covered in glitter and body paint WTF
We're showing the video later bring pizza
Would it be sad if I made a blanket fort to get drunk in till the power came back?
wanna see your best friend chug a bottle of steak sauce?
please go to sleep
Just found out the last guy I hooked up with is being held in a federal prison under suspicion of stealing 175k.
Randomize
