I work with a guy that has a strong spanish accent. He just said "I have a plethora of ..." and I busted out into laughter b4 he finished his sentence b/c it reminded me of 3 amigos.
I feel like i'm in "To Catch a Predator - The Musical"
he didn't want to fuck because he was too busy skateboarding. what are we 12? I'm too old for this shit.
I just used my thong as a hair tie. I think I reached my limit.
you took my bottle from me saying i was unprepared for its magical qualities. then you buckled it in the backseat.
I just did the math, I've had 8 hours of sleep in the last 3 days. Not sure if that means I am dedicated to my sex life or my job...
of course not. I do my best teaching on a hungover monday. I did the research. im still okay with the direction in which my life is headed.
Vodka?
Forever.
I finally fell asleep and like an hour later he wakes me up and says "I've always to be woken up w a blowjob." Um, that's not how it works asshole.
Was he good-huge or like "what the fuck do i do with this"-huge
I can't wait to get home and brush the fuck outta my teeth.
Literally.
My fridge is empty and all of my food is in the bathtub. Just.. Why?
I just shit my bed. Go ahead and make your 40 year old incontinence jokes now.
At dinner her sister yelled "he fucked me AND mom!! Up your standards hoe!!" Safe to say I ruined that family
Due to this morning's events my new porn name is Reepa Nipplov.
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