There's something fitting about a hot in-car interracial makeout to the tune of 'healing the world.' RIP Mike.
I don't know what's more sad having a rewards account at a liquor store or already racking up 273 dollar points since january
Im eating the cereal I found in my pocket and drinking wine out of the bottle.
Going to have to start putting down newspaper if puking the bed is going to be a habit
I did the crab walk everywhere because I was drunk enough that it was easier than standing up.
I can't keep up with all the guys you're banging. I'm just going to start referring to them by city of origin.
i'll probably be on drugs forewarning
forewarning i'll probably have done those drugs with you
I asked if anyone's pants felt wet on the bottom, like a half hour after mine did. I had just peed my pants i had gotten so high no biggie
I can feel your movements against the shared wall we are leaning up against. It makes me feel as though we are one. Queue Pocahontas song...
You throw up behind 1 mannequin and it's world war 3 in forever 21
Well, you're 18 and dating a 28 year old. Who has a wife. Who isn't you. I would guess that's why your mom frowns upon the relationship.
The guy whose porn password I use finally renewed his membership. Lazy fucker had been slacking all summer.
Once again, your first date sounds like something of an epic. Odysseus' Quest for Fourth Base.
Can you explain the Transformers set up for battle in my living room?
Stand and applaud for me. I have successfully masturbated in a Walmart changing room with the door wide open during normal business hours. I lead a very Charmed Life.
Randomize
