you were calling yourself Ulickes S. Cunt.
i've officially fucked a sailor, a policeman and a biker. I've never noticed my Village People fetish until now...
You should see the damage i did to the apartment last night. So many broken things and butter sticks stuck to windows.No memorys
do you remember the combo for the lock to my pants?
I need to cry about outer space to someone. Can I call you?
They're basically the Kennedys. This is the family I fucked in to. I'm so proud of my vagina as much as it feels shitty for my heart.
you take my contact solution?
drank it last night then filled it with brandy for the plane ride.
Sorry for all the snapchats, I wanted you to feel like u were in America getting plastered with me
I'm sorry about all of the innappropriate shoe throwing
A guy in a gorilla mask got blown on the lawn. And then the night got weird.
I AM GONNA CUM EVERYWHERE TONIGHT BRO.
That’s talent right there. Maverick and Goose type shit.
Just keep me informed about your plans. That way i can figure out places to go and if i need to shave my balls
I smell like cotton candy and guilt.
I think you threw up on me last night but i can't remember so i'm not mad at you.
Randomize
