I changed my mind about Tim Gunn. I like him now. Mostly because he said someone's dress looks like a gay t-rex. Or something.
you asked a group of latinas stood by the bar to hold a minutes silence for ugly betty getting cancelled. that drunk.
my mom just called and warned me someone is trying to serve me, i feel like i'm playing an extreme game of hide and go seek these next weeks
if you don't go out with us, what are you gonna do? you're gonna go home and watch biodome and masturbate to texts from your east coast boyfriend and see the facebook pictures from the party when you wake up.
That sound you heard was the sound of millions of brackets exploding simultaneously
And "sexual slave/chef" was as it turns out not a real career choice...
Dangr zzzzzzzzone
The melted ice in my drinks tonight is probably the most water I've had in like 3 days accumulated.
I still smell like men's body wash from that drunken shower I took at that stranger's home last night.
Like fighting the continuous urge to sing Neil diamond "coming to America" kinda fucked up right now
That edible kicked in right as I was upside-down on that rollercoaster. Fucking.mind.blown.
I never forget a pussy, even blackout me gives me that memory.
You were petting a 40 year old man's moustache for 15 minutes
I JUST SAW MY THERAPIST OUTSIDE OF WORK AND I DONT KNOW THE ADULT THING TO DO
Yeah, oh and the story gets better. His friend was dressed as a christmas tree wrapped in twinkle lights and had to plug himself in the wall all night.
Randomize
