i was so high i thought his mole came off and was flying around
its not that she doesnt like having sex with you, your balls just smell worst then your ass.
people who like being in relationships make me feel bad about myself.
She's pissed. She declared she was moving out and proceeded to pack 3 pairs of shoes, her electric wine opener and ONE sock. Then told us to have fun paying her portion of the rent.
Really, thanks for buying me caribou, it helped me out. Today will forever be the day I threw up in a caribou cup in the skyway outside of chipotle.
She's laying here with her head in my lap stoned, eating Doritos, whining about her boyfriend, and listening to Cher. Fuck the friend zone.
Ecstasy should be its own food group.
We fist bumped behind their backs while drunk hooking up with them... Do other girls do this too? Or is it just us?
He was crying because he hiccuped every time he kissed me. We then crawled to the kitchen because neither of us could stand, and I spoon-fed him peanut butter "to cure his ailment."
I just pulled a piece of cookie out of my bra in the middle of class. I'm forever alone.
The only responsible thing ive done in vegas is shower and that was onky to clean vomit off me
The only word that describes how much hair I shaved off of my ass is "considerable".
It was like 10 tiny penises being shoved in my vagina.
You said "I feel like a koala bear. Do you ever just feel like a koala bear?" This is your brain on drugs.
so i was thinking... those 6 am shots weren't really needed.
Randomize
