My nipple is on Facebook.
I thought it was weird that her dad told me to finish and get out after he walked in on us. I like him
dear life, i get it, drinking is not a contest
My dad just told me if I'm going to smoke pot, to make sure I use a clean needle. WTF?
the best sex is "duke just lost" sex.
I just ASL-ed someone for the first time since 2002.
Well ill be drunk so just come find me. Its like where in the world is Joey San Diego
I just found glitter from our Father's Day party on my balls this morning.
DAD WTF
Walking my dog and eating a taco in last night's dress.. Classy
I mean obviously I like your dick... Jury is still out on you but your dick is good
Seriously I'm not after your cock. It's a nice bonus, like finding $20 in the dryer, but not the reason I hang out with you.
We just broke up and deleting his dick pics is the hardest thing I've ever had to do.
i doubt you are even in possession of a crowbar.
I suggest you not find out the hard way
Yup we found her. The bouncer was carrying her out
She’s the kind of asshole whose face I want to put on a T-shirt just so I can go outside and burn it.
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