We were chasing that deer in the quad and next thing I remember I woke up in my RAs bed. I'm probably in trouble.
farters have to be the big spoon...
Even My mom was ashamed of me bringing her home, she pulled me aside, and told me i can do better than, "butter faces"
I just saw her take the entire bowl of lime wedges from the bar and pour them all in her purse, and now using the empty bowl as a hat. Waiting for security to come and throw her ass out.
What I'm trying to say is, that time you chained me to my dresser and made me beg for it was incredibly romantic.
Holy shit he's circumcised. His parents must have really loved him.
I got laid while wearing a shirt with a picture with my little brother deep throating a banana on it.
The toilet wouldn't flush at the club so I literally just shat in the garbage.
Let's play another riveting game of "Whose boxers are hanging on my fence?"
last night i fell off a barstool and busted my nose. i can regretfully say that i didn't see cherub last night.
Found a pic on my phone from last night. You're drunk. Arm wrestling some guy. In the bar bathroom. At a baby changing station. It's my new wallpaper.
Was it your intent last night to burn the house down? With a waffle..
Me and my dad hot boxed a hotel bathroom... That's what I call father son bonding
really enjoying the fact I don't remember how the staff party ended. feel like I need to shame drink today
feel at noon?
I just found my phone after looking for it since yesterday afternoon it was in the fridge.
Randomize