Is it 'vaginas' or 'vaginae?'. Either way there were a shit ton of them.
she said they gang banged her to "who let the dogs out." the dude left of the middle barked along. sounds like a good time.
Just had a flashback of you announcing "your nipples aren't that big for the size of your boobs, I've seen them"
we've been together for three years, and i still get excited when i know i'm going to give him a blow job. it's that kind of love
I had a dream she was puking on me, but sadly in real life she was puking on me too
This was baby jesus's way of getting you to wait until the next bikini wax
I'm chatting with a girl missing a front tooth. I find it quite distracting. I'm sure you have deduced what bar I'm drinking in on this monday night.
Bailey. He has a soul patch. Idgaf if he was an NFL player. Nobody with a soul patch is attractive.
You force fed me pizza in bed last night. That was fun
I mentioned your name at this party and some girl started crying.
I can't put those talents on a resume
Last night I made the hotel shuttle driver take me to Walgreens for birth control, and Pringles.
They were both high priority
This is what happens when you leave: I get all vulnerable and I make out with the cowboy to shut him up about Jesus.
i dont think sending her flowers will make her forgive you running over her foot.
Your slutty phase was the highlight of my year.
Randomize
