Saying she let herself go implies she was actually holding on
She wanted to watch a Baby Einstein DVD while we fucked. I'm pretty open minded but that felt a little creepy.
I just watched a girl use a tall boy Coors as a rolling pin to make christmas cookies
His apartment number was 69. I had to.
We're watching a video in class about cheese. The scoring for it sounds like that of a Lifetime movie. My mind is creative. I've continued my own story in my head of a wheel of cheese that was raped and murdered. It's so sad. I hope they get the guy. Btw, the video is about marketing.
I thought you just gave him blowjobs and he criticized your drug use.
oh and speaking of men I've slept with. Ryan lost 1/3 of a testicle zip lining
Is girls night deemed a success when you piss the bed?
Sometimes I think I'm witty and funny, and then I realize it 3pm and I'm drunk
She's impossible to please. Other than with two fingers and a tongue.
Fuckin' raining men in my bedroom while I'm trying to drunk eat a rather large portion of pasta. Like shoo I already picked who I'm sleeping with. Pasta wins.
Today I learned I and my bar naps were the subject of a bar meeting.
I haven’t taken my socks off in over 36 hours. I should add that to my bumble profile.
YOU WAXED MY CAT YOU SICK FUCK
my face feels like mints and my body feels like tingles
Randomize