I am engaged
To a real live girl that has met me
Birthday was great, I got entirely too drunk and made really poor life decisions. It was everything a birthday should be.
Im drinking in homer but I guess Egan got arrestest on an "assault by water ballon" charge but tom actually threw the water balloon in question at the bartender.
Walmart at night is scary enough without having to run into people you've slept with
Haha, oh man. I'm awake now. Slept in my headdress.
Bacon Cheddar rum burgers are as great as they sound. I knew that 100 proof Captain would be good for something other than vomit.
Jsyk, in serious talks of trading blowjobs for soup in bed. I'm sober
Tommarow we shall sacrifice the freshmen to the sun god
The guy next to me in the library just got a call from his roommate asking him to come bail him out of jail...we need to step up our game.
Speaking of fellatio on fictional characters, the Stay Puft Marshmallow Man would be a delicious blowjob.
Fucked a kid by the name of your hometown tonight... FOR THE WIN.. BF4L
I did not have sex with him because he had a puppy…finding out he had a husky pup waiting back at home was just an unexpected plus
No way hahaha I have zero intention of adding him I wanna just join in on a three some but mostly just be there for moral support and snacks
I really just gave up on masterbating because I'm too tired. I really am getting old.
Taking a walk while tripping face during Halloween time was a bad idea. I started crying bc I was so scared and hide in the parks playground.
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