Shes cool when Im fuckin smashed.....Sober.....She suuuuuuuuuuucks
i hooked up with a boy reading dear john, i have to get points for that somewhere
no he gets major points for having a girl hookup with him after reading dear john
EW EW EW EW THAT PENIS BELONGS TO SOMEONE'S FATHER! THAT PENIS BELONGS TO OUR FRIEND'S FATHER! THAT PENIS HELPED CREATE OUR FRIEND! YOU'RE NOT ALLOWED TO ADMIRE IT!
If by any chance I go to the hospital make sure you stuff a pint in my pockets so I can keep up.
Just climbed to the top of a frozen waterfall! Do you want to do drugs tm night? The two are unrelated.
at least you know where his tattoos end, so it wasn't a complete waste of time.
constantly striving to make life awkward and more complicated, one drunk bone at a time.
His cuteness will no longer contol my vagina
He lit a candle for the mood and ended up lighting my hair on fire while we were hooking up...moodkiller
If last night was a preview of 2015, I quit.
I think my biggest regret in life is not banging you in the science museum
If we hadn't just agreed to no commitment, i'd totally propose right now. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
You know tonight's gonna be a good night when your already planning on sleeping in a trunk
Seriously. There were about 4 hours in which I swear my nose was not attached to my face.
Ok, there are marshmallows shaped like elephants
Randomize
