it was like fucking with batman, he had gadgets i never even imagined
who put toothpaste on EVERY doorknob in my house?!
In that case, I'll try 2 find a date. But my options are AA friends or fuck buddies.
My usual answer of have sex with it doesn't work in this situation
He called us the '3 Amigos' and told us if hos ex wife came we had to jump the porch railing and hide in the bushes.
DID YOU DO SOMETHING WITH THE DEAD ROACH IN THE KITCHEN? OR DID IT LAZARUS?
I dressed up as a "typical white girl" which meant I wore my yoga pants and uggs all night. BEST. IDEA. EVER. Most comfy halloween everrrr.
I know but at least you've never been asked to have sex dressed up like Catwoman
I tried eating pop-rocks while giving him a bj, I honestly think I was more disappointed with the results than he was.
I know you've been in hospital with meningitis, but last night I walked into a streetlight and bruised my penis so who's really suffering here
Here's a tip: do NOT chant "MATTHEWS. MATTHEWS. MATTHEWS." during sex because the Packers won against the Giants.
Idk I've taught my 18 month old how to say nipple so kids aren't all bad
I really don't think my body can handle another night of drinking
Lol you talk like you have a choice
I am worried that I am gonna die before the weekend is over
Invitations to sext will not be acknowledged until 10 a.m. EST. Thank you for your cooperation. We apologize for any inconvenience.
I'm just too horny to handle empty house
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