My little sister just found a condom in her bag i borrowed... Happy fourteenth birthday.
I fell off the front porch last night. Actually.. I dove. I dove off the front porch.
I had to stop messing around with him for fear of laughing in his face. I swear it was a pinky finger in his pants
Kinda wish I banged him. I need the exercise.
There are walks of shame and then there are walks of what the hell is wrong with you.
sudden memory flashback: you and i having sex on the bed, erin sitting naked in your desk chair drinking whiskey straight from the bottle while harassing you for your computer password to play some "mood music." high five. go us.
New discovery: pineapple flavored vodka. Life made, liver in jeopardy. Graduation t-minus 50 minutes.
ARE YOU SAYING THAT YOU DON'T WANT TO GO TO A PARTY AT AN ADULT STORE WHERE A BUNCH OF HOT GIRLS ARE DRINKING
If you've never been pounded by an Eastern European body builder, I would highly recommend it.
I woke up this morning half naked, smelling like an ash tray, with an empty bottle of jack next to me, and now someone named Dora the anal explorer is texting me.
Also, I wish we had magnetic nipple rings and our boobs stuck together.
So who left their underwear on a lamppost in my aunt's backyard
Pretty sure if we keep hanging out on Tuesdays there will be no whiskey left for the younger generations or the universe will implode....tomato tahmato
He spent three years trying to get a chance with me and finally broke me down. then he came in two minutes and was so upset he locked himself in the bathroom so I helped myself to his weed and left. Wanna get stoned?
I had a dream that I was smoking rasberries out of a bong. THEY WEREN'T EVEN DRIED...
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