It's not real sex if he's just convulsing inside of you.
Do you think Conan would leave his wife for me?
i woke up to see him pissing on your n64. thats like killing a unicorn. punishable by death for sure.
totally got the gold medal for the best fence jump when the cops came.
Listen, what he fails to understand is that the Olive Garden does not equal pussy.
In case you were wondering, my scare crow is wearing your outfit from last night.
I woke up in an empty bathtub with the wrong brother
Dude he fell into my wall and left an imprint then decided to have sex with the door open. Vents carry noise pretty well
Do you know of any good hiding spots in the Atlanta area?
Everyone was soo nice and genuine.. Then again it coulda just been the drugs.
I know it was your bday but bringing a airhorn and blowing it yelling "buy me a fucking shot" in the bartenders face was a little uncalled for
I was so high I started singing Let It Go and then instantly started laughing 'cause I was eating ice. Everyone just stared.
Buying a new pipe this morning, and setting up career plans this afternoon. It's called balance
I guess I called her at 2am, demanding that she bring us food. She told us to order pizza, and I yelled "DON'T MENTION PIZZA!" I recall nothing.
Like bruh, I’m a free range girlfriend
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