She looked like cheddar but tasted like limburger...
he drunkenly confessed to whacking off before coming over so the sex'd be longer. this one's a keeper
yea, the bartender wouldn't serve you because you kept asking for "a slice of beer"
walking on campus just saw the exact moment some kids life got ruined
he's on the phone and just starts going "FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUCCCCCCCCKKKKK", then follows it with "Are you sure your pregnant?"... made my day
We're cuddling on the couch that me and his brother had sex on...this feels wrong
Doctor just prescribed me 20mg Ritalin 3 times a day. It's becoming the "grain and oats" section of my food triangle.
I have vomit stuck in my nose, you should come with a warning label.
Sometime between a drunk guy asking me if I'm a Beach person or a lake person WHILE HIS HAND WAS IN HIS FUCKING PANTS or breaking up a lady fight over peewee football league I started to reevaluate my life and self
Btw he dated my mom. You're Eskimo siblings with my mom. Good job.
We went to Denny's and he threatened to fight an entire high school track team by himself
So what's going on?
We hit boys town to get stupid. I mean invading Iraq stupid.
Yeah if I don't text back. I'm eating. sleeping. Or lifting. Or drinking. Or playing call of duty. Like shit man
Well... I got her number now... I think she is a dish best served drunk
It was probably bad to sleep with someone just to pet his dog right?
I made him dinner in just his cowboy hat and my boots after we did it...you should see his face :)
Randomize
