honestly if we didnt hate the same people we would have a friendship based on nothing
Apparently Sundays are the worst days for your friends to get their head split open and need stitches...there's only 1 doctor on duty
I never kept track of who else he slept with. You think I have the time or the energy to keep track of every dick in my life?
remember that response paper i wrote naked, at 745am still drunk with a naked dude in my bed? yeah, totally got an a- on that. and he loved my insight.
Found my shoes and purse. They're all strapped together in my neighbor's tree. Need to borrow your ladder. Thanks in advance
this cock blocking thing really has to end bro...its one thing to tell jen i live with my mom.. its another to cut the brakes on my car..
Just don't let me fall on anything that can be broken. Unless its a dick
Things I have learned since the start of my first college spring break: do not fart in an enclosed space (such as a shower stall) when hungover. You will throw up. More lessons to follow as week continues.
Though I do have to question why i found you and my brother passed out on his bedroom floor, no clothing between you except his tie wrapped around your dick
Chili is not acceptable fuck buddy food.
i just called dibs on the taxi driver at the bar that isnt drinking. im a grown up
right after that u started calling me g-force and started trying to bellyslide down his drive way
I don't wanna be 33 that's when Jesus died
When we were in Vegas he tried to get an Elvis impersonator to act dead on a toilet so he could take photos. This is even worse
I would let him fuck me right here in this laundromat. Praise Satan.
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