this kid down the hall keeps banging on his drums...i feel like i'm living in jumanji
i dont remember who you are as you are in my phone as "mr. peanut."
this beer tastes like vomit already
So, I had a dream last night that girls approached guys at the bar and said things like "i would like to pleasure you tonight." No drink buying, no sweet talking or ANYTHING.....it. was. awesome.
speaking of graduation plans, i'm blacked out eating sausage
Just in case you were wondering I sent you a text at 4:37 in the morning because I woke up on the side of the highway at that time
i don't even know why we got arrested this time. i think the cops just like our company at this point
Indeed. Apparently I called my sisters and told them I wouldn't get arrested because it's not a real sword.
He offered to buy me free breakfast if I stayed at the hotel overnight with him. I then realized they have a complimentary breakfast.
Please put me on a plane and hypontize me into forgetting the little bit of last night that I do remember.
dont know how to tell my grandparents I woke up in a frat house in the wrong town and that's why I can't see them today
Having sex with him is like eating mayo. Don't think about it, just do it. It's worth it.
I have a hickey in my new work ID photo.....
I slept naked last night on stolen pillows. I felt like a golden goddess.
I basically go to him for great dick and great memes.
Randomize
