Just saw an old lady trip and stumble. Laughed. Kept Driving. I'm going to hell.
standing in the yard with no pants on waiting for google maps to come and take a picture.
searching "dave" under the university of pittsburgh on facebook was not exactly how i hoped to find my baby daddy
...She was shooting whiskey using a turkey baster...i was horrified.
Apparently, we were running around the apartment, singing into pickles, the routinely slapped our passed out friends with them.
want to meet me after class and possibly get arrested for indecent exposure?
I HAVE A PIGEON IN MY JACKET.
I just realized I consumed seven different types of alcohol this weekend. And I'm only counting jungle juice as one of those. How the fuck did I not die?
So question, would you consider it morally wrong to grind up Cialas and put it in ones cocktail? Then I get what I want and he doesn't have to be embarrassed and he can win the mental game with himself? I'm only thinking of him...
things I never thought I would say vol. 24 "Bagpipes just remind me that my relationship is over"
I totally almost forgot you fucked that guy. St. Patty's bar crawls always have a drawback.
They're fucking on the bed next to me. I took adderall and smoked so there's no fucking help for me.
I'm hungover during 4th grade graduation practice. I AM THEIR FUTURE.
Oh god...Did I just fuck a sugar granddaddy?!
4 of us. Guys and girls. Were sitting there discussing the passed out half naked Brit girl on the floor. She is no longer the international woman of mystery.
Alex thinks he can revoke my dick privileges haha.
Isn't he the one getting all the privileges ?
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