batman just walked across the sidewalk
lay off the drugs
no for real he was wearing a cape
there is just no excuse for touching your mothers vagina.
Just spent the last three hours in the library successfully refreshing facebook
He sent a pic, I sent one back. Then nothing. It's like we sext-messaged goodbye and ended the relationship.
It's now 3:30 and the guy I went home with is showering me with shredded cheese. Nbd.
We're trying to leave but amy's hitting on the guy who mans the nacho cart
Um I think everyone drunk and there's some douche on violin.
I was woken up at 4am by a stranger shaking my foot who said I looked like I needed a cigarette.
So I feel like I should have had a going away party for your dick. Complete with balloons and cake. Yeahh that's right. I'm gonna miss it.
Can you get snapchat back so I can show you all the places I threw up in/on last night?
MY TITS ARE PERFECTLY CALM.
Nothing better then waking up to multiple snap stories of people doing body shots of tequlia off of you
I can't be held responsible for another man's penis.
The modern romantic, surprising his gf w/ a gram of blow
Is it bad that if I found out I couldn't have kids I'd be more pissed that I've been using unnecessary condoms than the fact that I'll never be a mother?
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