I just wanted to draw pictures of limp wieners on peoples doors and smash pictures of palm trees. That's it.
who the fuck is that kid sitting with you...
I don't have any fucking idea. I woke up and he was there. I'm kinda creeped out.
He drunk dialed T-Mobile at 3am and talked to them for 45 minutes and got his phone bill lowered from $80 to $60... Best drunk dial ever.
Its like I was sleeping with a kid. His gum fell into my hair while sleeping and he just wanted to cuddle.
To put it in a frame of reference with which you're familiar, it was like making out with a golden retriever.
He filled our room with little plastic cups of beer so the only way I could get out was by drinking them all.
if by "adventure" you actually mean "getting ridiculously high and shaving our legs," then yes.
he found cum stains on my sheets and all i could blurt out was "better on the sheets than in me"
This makes me miss penis. Not in a horny way... but in a sad, sentimental way.
That's why we don't trade sex for Taco Bell. It's called the dollar menu.
I'm going to stop at grocery on the way home. I'm CRAVING wine from a sippy cup. We have neither wine nor sippy cups.
What's an appropriate outfit for wearing to hangout with a girl you've talked to once, and had a 4way with?
lost my vibrator and now I have to masturbate manually. The struggle is fucking real.
She stripped naked and ran around the outside of the house while I stood by the tent holding her clothes shouting "come back" because I was too drunk to chase her. This is why we can't have nice things.
I made soup. Now I'm having post soup making wine. I had pre soup making wine also.
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