Uhhh...do I owe you any money? Or an apology? Or anything?
if she mentions anything about chili and my phone, just go with it
He told me his mother taught him that move. What the hell do I say to that?
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
you called me and cried until i agreed to record a rap about our lives with you
You mailed him a break up letter, because you thought the "joy of receiving a letter" would ease the pain of you dumping him.
I promise not to drug you or anything. Please come to my birthday party.
I wasn't trying to be rude when I hurriedly walked past you, but I can not put in to words exactly how bad I had to shit.
yeah we're mixing orange juice, vodka, and rum and calling it Oj Simpson On Trial
N.C. cops just used a megaphone to tell me I have a slutty outfit. My life is complete.
I CRIED after phone sex. Am I gay?
I text him "Dude. Tryna get fucked here. I only have half the parts. I need your help" I'm sure my mom would be super proud of the woman I have become.
I just hope the day something happens to me my phone just dies, like literally died and will never turn on ever again. I feel like God owes me that much.
I woke up naked in this guys bed and the first thing I start saying is it's super bowl Sunday like I was yelling
anything below 65° is too cold to be naked on a roof
Randomize
