dude that girl has seen more cock ends then weekends
No, I was feeling sad because all of the other girls were like model-skinny. But then I remembered that I had big boobs and went to hit on their boyfriends.
Life lesson. Learning to pee left handed is easier than learning brickbreaker left handed. Rather lose a few drops than a few lives
her face looked like how i feel after Taco Bell
It's so cute when the exchange student uses "blowjob" as a verb.
Just found puke on my backpack while sitting in class. It's like this weekend won't leave me alone.
She told me I was lying in front of her toilet for an hour saying "lasers."
Yea my vagina was pretty pissed at me for not taking advantage of the situation...
I'll probably just lay on my couch bra-less sipping wine out of a straw so I don't have to lift my head.
Asking the homeless man what buss shelter is the warmest was not a good idea
Thats alot of pressure.
Just on your vagina. BTW I'm passing your house.
Dude, I'm not going to use a butt plug.
Girl, he's like catnip for my pussy.
Update: drank half a bottle of Bourbon and texted three ex's. Waiting for the roommates to go to sleep so I can raid the fridge.
Look don't ask questions just know that one thing led to another and I have a shot glass stuck in my ass. I need your help!!!
Randomize
