So much for the toy store...Not a butt plug in the entire place. See you tonight.
her facebook's as public as her vagina
By connection do you mean me drunkenly grinding my ass on his lap for an extended period of time? If so, then yes, we had a "connection"
It's not weird mascara. I just have puke crusted on my eyelashes.
My flask crushed my baggie full of aderall in my backpack, why can't my demons just live together in peace
i was staring at it trying to desperately see a vagina
He added me on Facebook. I'm pretty sure he got my name from the inside of the bra I had lost in the frat house.
Yesterdays boozy weather forecast has been extended to today
the cab driver said that we weren't the worst shit show he'd ever seen, CHALLENGE ACCEPTED!!
I will sleep with anyone I have to to make sure you don't get deported
Locals got pissed I was talking to the barmaid. Tried to tell me that they keep all the good beer at "a Soho walkup" Google saved me
Probably gonna run and pray I throw up. Then go get a coffee/bagel & continue to rally
I tried to cut you?! I'm sorry! PS where's my hair?
My fuck buddy and I talked about Amelia Bedilia for ten minutes before having sex. I think I'm in love.
Omg. I definitely just got hit on by my doctor AFTER he completed my pap smear which clearly showed I was in the middle of an outbreak. What. The. Fuck.
Randomize
