"I want to just tie you up so you\'ll still be here like this when I get home." Actual words.
I don't know what happened last night but I woke up this morning with "wolf pack" tattooed on my knuckles.
I'm drunk enough to talk Barbara Walters outta her panties
Mustard is by no means a replacement for yellow wall paint
Not even close. I woke up in the bed of Codys truck. Wrapped up in a sleeping bed, using a stuffed alligator as a pillow. And Alex was laying naked beside me. Not to mention I wasn't wearing the clothes I got there in.
i must of done something right to please the booty call gods. . . maybe fucking that fat chick?
Her exstacy made her nickname everyone David. Nobody knows who the fuck she's talking to so we just say no to everything she says. She's crying.
making out was so insane. it felt like our tongues were paintbrushes made of waves and we were painting an ocean galazy
Chipotle. Because when you've had diarrhea for 6 days why not just make it 7
It's midsummers eve. A.k.a. come over so we can get drunk and wear leaf crowns
He fed us edamame like baby birds. Slowly all coming back to me.
Stealing, and booze. If only you added meaningless sex with random people you would have wrapped all your life passions together
That sad moment when the drawer I used to keep condoms in now has poptarts in it..
I made a bucket list last night. Number 5: Will marry a wizard.
yeah. i tried to refuse to leave unless the burger king himself escorted me out. that didnt fly
Randomize