I need a shot of tequila, and quick death
This girl just introduced herself as Queefer Sutherland. She's on a roller derby team. What. The. Fuck.
Between the plague n the counterfeit drugs we brought back from mexico I'm not thinking too highly of their country right now. Screw mexican homeless men.
He did a 4 wheel burnout and yelled at the cops "Sorry! It's for a school project!". HOW does he think of this shit?
where are you guys? the police just woke me up on the couch outside.
I remember all the people and all the acts I just have to match the person with the act
Dude, she gave me a handski that literally felt like she was starting a lawn mower...
I just took the cheapest shot in your honor
I did stay at work til 5 but for the last hour I was just taking naked pics on my desk for some tinder guy
I kinda forgave him after he laid next to me and rubbed my arm for four hours while I tripped balls.
She's just a lonely cunt and i hope she stays that way for the rest of her fucking life.
This seems like an over reaction to someone eating your fries.
Like, my vagina is jet-lagged.
He said I have the “Denzel Washington” of vaginas.
We just had a contest for who has less of a gag reflex...I am sad to admit that my mother won.
I woke up and he already had a joint rolled waiting next to the bed. Love.
Randomize
