We saw some woman wearing leather pants. It was weird. We have decided to follow her on her travels to see where people go in leather pants in Michigan.
I just peeled a layer of cum off my eyelid. Don't even tell me that's not why you came over
They can't keep moving my court date back, i dont know if I'll survive another one of these going away to jail parties.
Whatever you gave me is making me lactate
I just bought $54 in Easter crap to try and blend in the pregnancy test... And FYI, it totally worked.
Stripper with the black hair and lip rings is still asleep. Found out she wasn't lying when she said she was a squirter, it was like splash mountain.
I'm instituting a new rule. If you wake me up at 3am about wrinkled blankets, I get to throat punch you
You know what, don't even answer. Just promise me you'll go to the Corner of Shame when you get home.
I don't think it's food poisoning, I think it's cause you cooked it over burning styrofoam
It was all fun and games until he noticed the hickey that he hadn't given me...
DONT TELL ME I CANT HAVE AN ENTIRE BOTTLE OF VODKA AT DINNER. IM AN ADULT. I PAY BILLS.
I think I'm emotionally ready to start being a slut again. I'm excited.
i woke up and couldnt remember who was in my bed and it was so dark.. i rolled over and started kissing him and feeling his face because hey... if the blind can see like that.. maybe i could too
My dad is clearly baked off his ass. He almost sat on moms cat in front of her, zoned out while staring at it and said he wondered what it was thinking about. Now he's dragging everything from the livingroom into the garage. Moms not happy.
We live walking distance from the coors factory. no, we do not have a dry week.
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