Forget abc fam drinking games. Take a shot everytime Tyra says I and you'll be dead by the first commercial
Whyyyyy do my fingers smell like Chinese food.
the blizzard started in kansas. im debating driving to a bar now so i can get snowed in there for the game
i don't care what you say, the winery is open and 10am is NOT too early to go barrel tasting
What am I legally allowed to do to a girl that is the equivalent of me punching her in the face?
she called me a fuckfaceshitdick. not that's creative. it sounds like a crayola crayon, preferrably an orange-brown shade.
I just threw up in my hands while sitting on the toilet
they are using this drunk girl like a spin the bottle in the hot tub, whoever she lands on she makes out with.
It was insane. I was drunk for 11 consecutive hours. I woke up covered in almonds and there were footprints all over my shirt
the good news is that even if it's Alex's, I can still say it's Colin's, because the kid will come out ginger anyway!
who knew there'd be a plus side to your ginger fetish one day?
I went on a psycho cleaning spree so I feel I've earned the right to spend the day in bed watching porn and eating sausage biscuits. If you bring alcohol you can join me.
All other girlfriends are inferior. You are the chosen one.
It's dollar drink night and I have my honors society initiation tomorrow. Somehow I think this will not end well.
Probably yeah. I mean maybe one day we can be those friends that hang out naked. Not awkard at all.
Leaving the puke on the ceiling as a reminder.
Maybe life is about finding the person you DO want to cuddle with after they rail you like a porn star
Randomize
