I'll name the documentary, "The Adventures of Megan's Vagina"
well tonys high enough to be moving from spot to spot around the kitchen shooting tortellini into a boiling pot and yelling "KING JAMES" whether he makes or misses it.
I think he finally resigned to the fact he could not get off. He just looked at me and said "I'm having testicle difficulties," rolled over and passed out.
It's a special occasion. Hence the 151.
i just saw you make out with a girl with facial hair...just thought i would document that in case you forgot
This whole situation could've been avoided if you would've just let me open the beer
When did it become appropriate to call your mother the morning after? While still naked in bed? WHEN?!
Carving a pumpkin in a gay bar at 2am. How did my life get to be this way.
Ted is on HBO in 20 minutes...not sure if this or the drunken dance party I had at the bar to a N*SYNC Christmas song 20 minutes ago is the highlight of my week so far.
I vomited out my contact lenses last night
The only thing that makes a night with half a bottle of cheap vodka is the other half of that bottle of cheap vodka.
Being forward is somethimes a problems. Like in sexual deity Kong.
I think you’re losing coherence.
I am
It does not feel like it was just this morning that I had a penis in multiple cavities of my body
After the 2nd person threw up, you told us that your 'mint shooters' were just shots of mint mouthwash
I forget how to act sober
Randomize
