Well you will be happy to know that aaron carter hit on me
i learned a valuable lesson last night. sometimes nice girls finish first. twice.
Alright, so what's my next move? I already posted a Milli Vanilli video on her wall
We had an indepth conversation about his employment at Arbys..
Being at this bar with grandma is a real cockblocker
I gotta stop tellin complete strangers at the bar that they're the godparents to my first born
I'm bringing a flask to the test on friday. If I'm gonna fail at least I can enjoy the experience
don't tell me about being eco-friendly. i just threw up in the same bag i bought my liquor in. RECYCLING
They invented the twister shot game. You put a shot on each circle, take it when you land on it, and if you fall, they funnel the mat and make you drink it. New best friends.
He refused to pierce my nipples, saying they are the best he's ever seen and that blemishing them would be a crime
Doc gave me something stronger than Xanax. The pills have your last name imprinted on them. This cannot be coincidence.
Also, my phone suggested the phrase “puke in the mailbox" how many times have I had the need to text that to people?
I'm definitely not at Wal-Mart eating jalapeno poppers with an elevated blood alcohol content
Which sister was it? The one I accidentally hit when my shoe flew off or the one I ate candy off of when we were high?
You can make out without kissing
Explanation needed
Randomize