apparently red wine has the total opposite effect that whiskey does on his dick
i was so high it looked like the chipmunks movements were coordinated to that lady gaga song
The coffee and champagne are fighting over who gets to absorb the one pancake in my stomach
Pregnancy confirmed. Complete emotional instability achieved. I just cried through 95% of Avatar.
Someone tried to flush pizza down the toilet. Well, at least tried to
got my wristband ripped off, was told i can only be served water. please find me, i'll be running through the fountain
My liver hurts and I just woke up from my first sleep in two days
Sounds like the perfect vacation
I'm sorry that I didn't get belligerently drunk and did not put my penis on your neck again
You can see my drunken state get worse with each picture
Model at car show < day drinking with your favorite sister. Get your head in the fucking game Christopher.
She found the planted magnum condom..once she figured it out it was too late.
My niece I'm babysitting left earlier to stay the night with her friend. I got ditched by an 8 year old.
Once upon a time I threw up in my own hands last night.
I would climb him like a jungle gym. Enthusiastically and creatively.
Am i obligated to tell my sister her girlfriend was my one night stand three months ago?
Randomize