No idea how I passed that sobriety test.
Just got booed while taking a piss and asked if I 'call that a penis.' Get me the fuck out nf yankee stadium.
You were partners with her mom and you began calling her "the Robert Horry of beer pong" You also kept telling her that she was hotter than her daughter.
I'm covered in pickle juice. Why do you people leave me alone?
the ceiling is raining jello shotss
At one point you starting double fisting oreos in your mouth confused about how you got out of the car
He paid me to blow him while doing a handstand. Does that make me a whore or just a budding gymnast?
i jsut waqnnna hugg thw crap outa sokme peoplee
SHUT UP I CAN'T HEAR YOU OVER THE SOUND OF UKULELE AND LONLINESS
I WOKE UP IN A FUCKING DOG BED HOW DO YOU THINK I FEEL
Say whatever you bloody well like; you don't know the true meaning of life until you have smoked to a Sade cd.
I just lifted up my shirt to scratch my stomach n a Dorito flew out of my pullover n it legit scared me when it hit me.
Totally just made a post sex emergency cupcake run. My life is awesome.
Yeah but you let me touch your butt. You're clearly the winner.
i just wanted have a romantic star gaze moment with him. untill he let out a massive fart.
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