I would have done the walk of shame but I couldnt walk
I walked into my house this morning to find an 18 pack on the counter. I think that's gods way of ringing the bell for round two.
He shouted my World of Warcraft name while we were having sex, and he was sober.
There is a 15" subwoofer mounted inside our fridge. I've never been more proud of myself.
I'm about to play Thunderstruck by myself, that way I'll always get the long thunder part.
I'll call you tomorrow. I'm ok and back i love you goodnight.
I stole a bike. Here's a pic
Makin mac and cheese without you. Definitely seem to do this better inside you. Splashed boiling water on my cock
Since he's sober and out of jail, he acts like we are the worst people on Earth. Fuck him, the only acceptable time in life to do coke is the early twenties. He won't take that from us.
he's the second guy to suck on my nipple in front of my friends that i haven't made out with.
i have nothing going on in my life. unless a toxic love triangle with netflix and jack daniels counts.
I'm now consulting a magic eight ball on all major life decisions. On another note I think I have chlamydia.
STOP FUCKING TELLING PEOPLE ABOUT THAT TIME THAT GUY CAME ON MY FACE WHILE I WAS ASLEEP!!!
if he ever tells me he loves me when we are sober, i am a goner. just fyi.
You can't go around chasing people and screaming JUST LET ME LOVE YOU. We're in a public place.
There is a dude with blue hair and a samurai sword and another dude dressed as Dead Pool. I daresay standard social conventions are not applicable in this environment.
I visited the library for the first time in my college career tonight and I got laid. I think I'm gonna come back...
Randomize
