I think scott just propositioned me for sex
i think blowjobs on the first date are perfectly acceptable. as long as you dont go dick to mouth.
We video chatted for almost two hours. But I woke up with puke on my keyboard. The question of the day: were we still chatting when I vommed? No idea.
He asked if I wanted to leave my bra on while we were doing it from behind bc he read somewhere that all that pounding can be painful for big breasts. THAT thoughtful.
but then i turned into a human whiteboard because i thought it was a good idea to bring out markers
I'don't know who your are but its that time a day. Drunk it up. Did you buy a House for goundhogs days?
Can we please stop calling your vagina the cave of wonders?
what are we doing this weekend?
I have enough booze to get us through Armageddon...which basically means that on Sunday we will have to make a trip to the liquor store.
stumbled upon a picture of an owl staring me in the face. i almost offered him a bong hit.
I swear with his long flowing hair and god-like body he looked like Jesus, a bong hitting Jesus
Omg. I have a story to tell you later about that girl that just crawled on stage
That birthday blow job you ordered came in the mail today. I suggest you hurry home.
Two days later and my throat is still sore. That bong is a double edged sword.
I dressed up as a "typical white girl" which meant I wore my yoga pants and uggs all night. BEST. IDEA. EVER. Most comfy halloween everrrr.
Just used the pen i got in my signing ceremony to pack down my bowl. coach would be proud
Randomize
