i jus pukd everywherw but i took a showr, come cuddle
dude did u upper deck my toilet?
haha like two months ago
i cleaned the bathroom like ten times before i realized what the smell was.....i hate u
his prince albert piercing just severely cut the roof of my mouth. can you pick me up at the hospital if he drops me off?
what part of “beer fountain” do you not understand
As i lay in bed, clutching my face, i'm starting to believe your dick in my eye story.
please tell me why my pillow is wearing your thong...
...i wondered where i left that...
I'm putting "buy a bottle of scotch" on my "productive things to do to procrastinate studying for finals" list
I'm not considering your visit a success until we've fucked every cock in the ethnic rainbow...between the four of us we should have it done by x-mas
Thank god Shes going home for winter break, gives my dick a chance to recover from those "bjs." Youd think a senior could suck a dick by now.
I REMEMBER NUGGETS BEING THERE BUT WE WERE AT A TACO BELL
idk i usually just blame everything on steve
Steve quit two months ago
He's mad about lube? You know what, don't even. I'm not in the proper mindset to discuss lube.
So is it weird that I am super excited for my new captain america clit ring... Or is my crotch getting too patriotic
So you can text and rub it at the same time? Bravo.
I can do anything and masturbate, if I truly wanted to.
I WILL go to space. And if we find aliens I WILL fuck one. It’s the Marine Corps way
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