didnt we say no more talking to eachother
it will help you get over me i promise
im horny
ok i will unlock the door
I think she kind of thinks she's better than us now ... please. I go to Michigan.
Wow, haven't had to deal with the 'stoned at the dinner table' scenario in a while
I really need to get laid. I'm telling at least 10 girls that I love them tonight.
Odds are at least 1 out of those 10 girls will be as crazy as you and will be into it.
I JUST WANT TO WATCH PORN BUT THE CAT IS JUST SITTING HERE LICKING HIS BALLS. I CAN'T DO IT.
We are doing handstands and somersaults in the pool. With an inflatable beer pong table and our regular beer pong table. We're ponging by land and by sea
But hes like a baby bird with a broken wing that i want to FUCK.
Drank a beer through my butt, how's your initiation going?
He refused to pierce my nipples, saying they are the best he's ever seen and that blemishing them would be a crime
Yeah man i woke up and only had a Jimmy John's wrapper covering myself..
I told you in the isle if you get the one that vibrates that I masturbating with it. Your fault.
Bullshit. You owe me a toothbrush.
she's just been through a whole lot lately. When the crazy starts leaking out we give her vodka and lock her in the room with all the pillows.
so that's what that room is for...
You said, "I'll have this whole island inside of you by 6 AM. Just point out who you want and I'll make it happen."
I haven't lost it. I know I'm not a prophet. It was a joke.
After the edible you claimed you were talking to my cat. We're in our 30s now, what was once cute is now a liability.
he invited me over. we listened to jazz, smoked weed, then cerebrally fucked each other over a three hour game of chess
Randomize
