at some point to night u and I have a 'meeting' too...(1-737): I hope so
No one wears that much makeup to work unless they are trying to fuck their boss, NO ONE
Fell in the ditch running from the pizza guy I stole the pizza from. If you are still at my house come find me, pretty sure I need stitches.
He doesn't have any game.. I mean, his one move is forwarding chicks pictures of his penis.
I have fireworks and redbull; let's make heart attack inducing magic happen.
He didn't even realize I was drunk. He probably just thought I loved Torchwood so much that I no longer knew how to use my thumbs
I'm getting a collar when he gets back in to town! That's like the bdsm equivalent of getting his class ring!
Let's just says his mouth writes a lot of checks that his penis just can't cash. Don't waste your time.
Note to self: don't try to shave your legs when sex-sore. You CANT reach, stop trying.
there is something very satisfying about getting tacos after hours of sex.
I will teach you the ways of the ho life, my little gay grasshopper.
Pretty sure the waitress here is concerned about well being bc I've been here drinking by myself for 3 hours. If only I could show here FB so she'd know I'm not alone...
It's has to do with my genitals. Don't ask.
Just got home from work. I'm going to change into sweats for a while before I have to wear normal pants to the party like I promised.
After this weekend my vagina will follow his penis anywhere. It’s like the pied piper, but with penis
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