Yeah, getting the HI-fiVe would really put a damper on my whoring around.
You and I should start a club for people who woke up on outside on a bench with no idea how they got there.
My teachers should feel privileged to see me this morning, after the amount of alcohol I consumed last night.
My balls had bee stings let's just leave it at that.
WHY are the edges of my bra charred???
It really ruins the moment when you have to ask to resend the nude pics.
Just used "I used to work as an inflatable toy operator" as a pick up line. Freshman frenzy is great...
I thought it went well, but he just sent me a video of me sucking an icicle on the fire escape of his building with the caption "The ice got more than I did." Somehow I feel like I owe him a blowjob.
Tommorow.Eggs Benedict and surprise blowjob day
90 seconds of pumping and 2 months of bragging all summer. So much for my reputation here.
I actually feel a twinge of sadness recycling all of our handles... I feel like I'm throwing out some great memories or lack of them because we don't remember
Watching Rudolph while stoned is practically a religious experience.
He had a hook in his ceiling. I think I'm in love!
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
You know that pill i snorted last night? Yeh, its just hitting me now..... At work
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