My mouth tastes like defeat. Did he at least have money?
I guess so. I don't really give a fuck. I think I'm going to jerk off really loudly tonight just to keep them on their toes
the weed was in a baggy that had little penguins on it. i am so excited you have no idea
I am 100% positive that I have seen a porno that was shot in this bar.
Totally using formspring as an incognito way of making sure that girl from last night wasn't jailbait.
she pulled the sheets over her head to blow me but the static kept making little lightning bolts and I was too high and got really scared she was going to electrocute me.
STOP CALLING ME LADY CHLAMYDIA
It was worse than that time I did shots of BBQ sauce and pierced my own ear with a thumbtack
So like 5 seconds in I realize I knew him in 3rd grade and I went limp in his mouth. It felt like I just murdered the last unicorn ever. Going straight never felt like an option till now.
Eating nacho cheese off the carpet. How is your morning?
Hey so when you left last night was i wearing shoes?
it was her dad's 50th birthday kegger. Within the first 5 minutes I got punched in the ear from an off-duty cop and smoked a joint the size of my vibrator.
oh yeah, and she got boxed-out by said cop. Then her dad turned around and high-fived him for it
IM BACK TOGETHER WITH MY BF AND HERE YOU ARE SUCKING DICK FROM 2009
Just remembered sticking my head out the window as i drove us to walmart and yelling that i was a golden retriever.
Also, sorry for verbally assaulting you when you asked if you could dump the bowl.
I need your help immediately! I sorta kinda sliced my foot off at the ankle with my new kitana. Bring your cooler, ice and some hospital road beers.
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