My balls are about to become a huge part of your mouth's life
Sometimes I forget to take my socks off when I masturbate. This always makes me feel like I'm accidentally in a porn.
i'm so bored i'm watching porn for fun. not even jacking off or anything. just watching.
Went home with a guy 2 " his house". Woke up this morn on couch to parents cooking breakfast, piss all over my back and he is no where to be found. That fuckr pissed on me and bounced. His parents are gonna think some drunk bitch pissed their couch.
I just watched nsync videos for the past half hour and you could totally tell lance bass was gay in all of them
So you have no knowledge as to why I am hearing loud repetitive mooing from next door?
that awkward moment when your booty call gets snowed in at your place.
best friends dont let best friends get an STD of the eyeball just saying
Dangr zzzzzzzzone
Sometimes you gotta say "hey, its been a long semester. Let's puke before 10"
You are an awesome peach made of glitter.
you don't go into accounting for the pussy....
When your grandma invites you to a sweet girls' Valentine's dinner with your mom and sister, but you have to decline because you're trying to get two dudes to rail you at once...
So your telling me I can lick your ass but you CAN'T spend my money
I will give him this, every time we go to the club he gets a stripper's actual number.
Randomize
