It feels like he gave my taint an indian burn.
i realized that the internet ruins the joy of a father passing down playboys to his son
tonight is going to be epic. can you pre-book an ambulance?
The pride tent is doing free lube tastings. There is also a mechanical bull.
rumor has it I kept asking you to go to the "tall grass" with me...sorry about that.
Why did the fire extinguisher taste lemony?
The only excuse this guy at the club had for trying to make out with me as soon as I met him was "I AM FROM MEXICOOO"
I knew it was a bad night when the only thing I could remember was you force feeding me tortilla chips as I hugged the tire of my car and begged to have my stomach pumped.
I also know you puked in your shoe.
That would explain the note .... I apparently wrote myself an apology note from drunk to sober me .... saying "sorry for the fancy shoe soup" .... ugh I'll never drink again ...
Good. Go forth, young stallion. Destroy the vaginal region with your tidy crotch.
I better make out with at least 3 princesses and 4 animals this weekend.
I FOUND THE LEGS
he fucked me while wearing his "Reagan Bush '84" tank and my inner democrat has never been more disappointed
Everything is bullshit and I hate everyone
My sister and her gf showed up at my door with no pants on at 4 AM talking claiming its hot.
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