the best part was when he threw his debit card on the table, looked at everyone and said "turn this into pizza!" It felt like a scene in a 'coming of age' teen comedy.
she went to pee and i could hear her singing "Drip Drip Drop LIttle April Showers" from Bambi through the door.
just friend requested my arresting officer from last night. too soon??
Ever since he's come out, my facebook stalking experience has gotten uncomfortable
Was just practicing flip cup with my NyQuil cup...
Wake and baked to watch the boston marathon. God I love massachusetts
he swears he got herpes from a bowl of soup
On the plus side this hangover is the tipping point that finally convinced my lazy ass to get some sunglasses.
I have a busted ear drum from when he honked his horn when we started to have sex on his car in the parking lot...
I WILL BE THE BEST FICTITIONAL HISTORICAL FIGURE FOR THE FEMENIST MOVEMENT THE WORLD HAS EVER SEEN
I woke up and found a stick of butter in my pocket. There's no butter in the house so I don't know who's it is. Using it to make cookies.
My cat is staring at me while I drink my wine on the bathroom floor in the morning instead of attending class. Sorry mom and dad. Sorry cat.
Who's the captain of your team? Captain Morgan as usual?
And me
I'm saying "I told you so" now so that I don't slow down to say it on the way to grab the fire extinguisher
I may or may not be drinking in a church parking lot.
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