i'm forgoing the post-coitus cuddling sesh to ask u this :when he says he loves me and all i can think to say is either "cool" or "i love boning you," what do i do?
you were convinced that if all her tampons were gone her period would stop, so you started eating them.
mom asked me why i'm never sober at family events, i told her i learned it from her.
don't ever tell me how terrible your next walk of shame is until you run into your little brother on his way to class.
Whatever. I indirectly made you cum overseas. Call it even.
I drink way too much to have a type. Last weekend I picked up a guy who calls me "baby girl"
That awkward moment when the guy you hooked up on spring break invites you over for dinner to meet his parents and you say yes because the first rule of college is never turn down a free meal.
THE SHIT YOU GET YOURSELF INTO
Not that you went to little darlings at 3am. But that you checked in on Facebook. C'mon bro. You're better than that.
So the guy who is making our IDs is in jail now for attempted murder, with no bail...
So no fakes?
It's was about average. But he had a tat on his thigh that said "pull-out n' rollout" so I won't have to worry about a round two request.
I just sneezed weed. Kinda wanna try to smoke it.
LET ME HAVE MY JUDGMENT OF OTHER PEOPLE
I'm gonna have to kick a girl scouts ass...
I have a video on my phone of someone streaking in my house last night, do you have any idea who it is?
My roommate just woke up to me masturbating in our room. I figured this would happen eventually.
Randomize
