saw "Pah-jure" lube. Thought of you. Wearing the same clothes to work tomorrow.
I stayed in, ate a pint of Hagen daas and watched a movie about aids. Soooooooo single.
Fuck. sleeping in my sisters room again I heard zombie noises outside my window
my mom heard me say 'don't squirt that at me' while me & him were in my room. She then decided to call my aunt and complain to her that she has the sluttiest daughter in town. she refused to believe me when i told her i was talking about gel.
I'm with your mom on this one.
god please explain to me why there's blood underneath my fingernails AND toenails?!?!
Dude To be completely honest I don't think you want me to.
Isn't the perk of being in a relationship not having to put in effort for sex?
i forgot beer had calories. that would explain alot.
Could someone please kill snooki before she contributes to the gene pool.
we talked for like an hour, i feel like we really bonded. i mean i was simultaneously giving him head but you get the point.
and then they started calling me 'Shitshow Shandra', which apparently i took as a compliment.
Omg he's telling my parents stories about him doing jaagerbombs ... Lord help me
please come home... she's showing me videos of spanish parrots and is telling me about her dead cousin...
Dude I'm riding a fucking tortoise this is awesome you should come with me more often
So, were they human bite marks at least?
Your guess is as good as mine.
I'm trying to blow this guy down here can you please get my husband out of the house.
really enjoying the fact I don't remember how the staff party ended. feel like I need to shame drink today
feel at noon?
Randomize
