I just wanted to let you know that if you dont tell me to stop texting i will still keep on trying, you matter to me
restraining order is on its way, crazy bitch
hey, can i borrow that thing you never use?
what?
your penis
Thats my favorite, when ex girlfriends become XL ex girlfriends
apparently "preggers as fuck" isn't an appropriate way to describe someone...
Tonight just feels like one of those I'm going to lose a shoe nights.
Did you hear me? I HAVE THE CONTENTS OF AN NBA PLAYER'S CONDOM IN MY BEDROOM TRASHCAN!! This shit is potentially worth millions of dollars to a fertile young female who is ovulating. How do I sell it fast??
Nope. He totaled my car then moved back to Louisiana to work things out with baby mama. I sure know how to pick em
Dont care what i do tnt just as long as i get to chug a beer in somebodys face
Is "when in doubt date the guy with the bigger dick" a good philosophy?
Start warming up your vocal cords, because Fucking With The Windows Open season has arrived.
So I had sex with a hook nosed, lisping masadonian last night.
Glad that degree in literature is paying off. Nice adjectives. Maybe set the bar a little higher though?
Rule travel - in 2s or put an ankle monitor on me, and maybe a shock collar.
Best and worst whiskey dick ever. I am hungover and can't move from the hours of sex, he on the other hand has a raw bruised dick. I win.
He told me my car had really nice leather seats right before he jizzed all over them.
Want a bet? I'm a kinky and determined motherfucker with a libido that is not easily stopped
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