but what if he tries to talk dirty to me with the lisp?
he literally had a slideshow of all the girls hes had sex with pictures set to american woman
I found him CRAWLING across the garden. He saw me,smiled,and asked for a napkin.
He started doing the gator chop at my vag and said he couldn't wait to "chomp" on it later...and I still slept with him. I hate gainesville.
Chasing shots with sriracha-covered mini toast was, in retrospect, not the best idea.
I threw all my money on the ground and said it was for homeless people and fell down the stairs
I was just too high to be in rapids man. I just screamed for the entire time I was jostling about.
Last night when you stole the construction sign you told me to tell you that first you did it for the money Than you did it for the music But mostly you did it for your family
I should be a dude... Walking a goat on a rope is a total chick magnet.
I can't remember if I puked before or after the shots of absinthe. Or why I thought shots of absinthe was a good idea.
I have bits of ceiling fan all over now
How many nights in 2015 can we have no one get injured, run away crying, or get into a brawl?
At least they play good movies in the waiting room of the pregnancy resource center.
So we are in the middle of sex and his brother knocks on the door and says "dude I just wanted to know if you want to see the fish I got tonight"
im gonna miss him. and by him, i mean his dick
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