I just found all of my Mary-Kate and Ashley movies. Can you say drinking game?
I think i found piece of your tooth in my dick this morning when i took a shower
And your hair- I'd make sure to pee on it first.
Somebodaw call 311 postw fire bunso on vietena floorwnkd
Just checked my phone. Sometime last night I googled sex positions in a tent. Was there even a tent there?
You will not judge me for my made-up holiday of wine appreciation day
If anyone ask I'm rushing for brotherhood, not so that this bartender will suck my dick
I should be a dude... Walking a goat on a rope is a total chick magnet.
I've never been more scared for my virginity in my life. And I lost my virginity almost 6 years ago.
You must be buzzed on Miller Lite.. Zen master advice is flowing
At one point we were both in the bathroom and i was taking a shit while holding your hair as you puked in the sink. Friendship.
I think my body knows it's dying and is just shutting down
She made me undress her with my teeth...explains the button in my shit this morning...
You know my vagina and my heart have a mind of their own even when it’s pouring snow.
I'm in the recliner and i have a bottle of wine wedged in my cleavage, drinking from a straw. Clever and classy or pathetic and sloppy?
Randomize