He had some BAD nuttage
Nuttage?
It's like cleavage......... but different
I am watching Grease 2 and properly learning how to apply a condom to a banana. This is a sign from God that this is the closest I will ever get to having the need for one.
Lesson 1: you can't keep macking on a girl if you get handcuffed
Let me make this really simple. We woke up this morning and fucked three times. When I got up and took a shower she cleaned up the mess from last night and did the dishes. Then we went out and she bought me brunch. I don't give a FUCK how much you don't like her.
we need to drink more beer. the fridge wont close.
This morning two of his housemate threw confetti over me, started singing and handed me a make shift trophy out of cereal boxes and beer cans that said 'Harry's Virginity' on it. Fucking brilliant!
I think that last shot was nyquil. Please come gte me. WINGS.
I know my whole body feels like I belly flopped onto concrete. Seriously need to tone it down for a while
I'm semi drunk. I just bought you penis moisturizer. Not kidding. Keep an eye out for the package. Merry Christmas.
i don't knpow whats goin on i think theyre sacrificeing me to th tequila gods
Are you aware that you called me "Sexy clit lady" last night?
It's not as funny as it sounds. I shit myself at the company Christmas party.
You challenged a dog groomer that she couldn't cut human hair ... How's the shaved head
i'm trying not to stalk him on facebook
i gave in
Your shit was massive.
I'm not 100% sure how to respond to that.
If you were in a "who has the massivest shit contest", you'd win by a landslide.
Randomize
