I just sneezed everywhere.....everywhere. Now no one will talk to me.
it's a girl!!
That's great, I look forward to meeting her in 18 years
he asked me to help him wrap his girlfriends birthday presents. Dont worry we fucked right after.
sweet and enthusiastic is code for tiny dick.
If he starts "inventing" things cut him off. The last thing he invented was chocolate chip green beans and he destroyed my kitchen
Ok if you are accepting my apology, please continue to ignore me. If you are not, please fill out the brief survey that follows, to help me improve my people relations: a) your a bitch please leave me alone b)your crazy pls leave me alone c) I never cared ab u please leave me alone. D) all of the above e) all of the above but I wouldn't mind still fucking u. F) who are you again? Your answer will not b shared and will b used in accord. With the law. TY
I have to answer enough questions about you, I don't need your uterus tossed in the conversation.
At some point during thanksgiving the image of me pooping on ur moms chest will come to you. Your welcome!
candyland with pharmaceuticals ... what could go wrong
Sending dick pics while driving a car going 80 in the rain at night to a married woman? Why hello 2014
Saying I've had more balls in my mouth than you is the last clear, coherent thing I remember.
My hot gay tattoo artist grew a beard and I'm not taking it well.
*6am blends another margarita* *615am blends straight tequila*
His relationship is over as soon as he sees my boobs. I’m going to titty fuck my way into his heart
I kinda realized titty fucking is purely for our enjoyment, they dont really get much out of it, except for a guy sitting on them and and a dick bouncing of their chin
Randomize
