come over anyways, right now, right this second
it can be a super quick quicky, then you can go back to studying
wow, that sounds SO fun, please stop enticing me with premature ejaculation
she was mega hot - except for the poop under her fingernails
i was puking in the toilet, he walked in and to talk to me and started puking in the sink.. Could this be my perfect man??
'fingered' and 'feelings' NEVER belong in the same sentence.
Jeff just maced a waitress...it's way too early for this.
The guy that just projectile vomited over the balcony is now going down to find the pill he just puked up. He said he wasn't about to waste $15.
You're not required to sleep with every guy that spends $10 on you.
All you need to know is that isn't jizz
I haven't had a normal poop since halloween, we are not mixing vodka and tequila ever again
RESPECT THE VODQUILA
I have a cracked rib, no way in hell I'm bottoming for him tonight!
Wait do we still get bagels if no one got laid
I know it doesn't seem right, but sometimes, bagels are just flat out called for.
He's listening to "my heart will go on" by himself in the living and its not even noon. MAKE IT STOP.
Guess who just bought an ounce of pot via Paypal, and paid for it with my airline Visa card to earn miles?
Congratulations. That business degree is finally worth every penny it cost you.
In an unrelated matter, im gonna eat you out so much later.
Some Romanian guy at work just told me "you come my house, we drink beer and you come make fuck with my sister"
If he's not there watching you go for it. It's been a while bro.
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