How'd it feel making her break her religion?
3 different guys in my psych class know me as 3 different names and said hi to me with all 3 different names-Andrea, Grace, and Bella
I've never been more proud of you
I would give up sex for lent, but I think Jesus would understand that I went too long without it to go back now.
i wish i was a boy too so i knew what a blow job felt like
yeah, but i heard shes schizophrenic
i wouldn't even care dude, i'd fuck her and all 7 of her personalities.
Is it too much to ask that he stop calling me 'titty fuck' in public?
We've done the math and the dogs tails are wagging at a rate of 3000 wags per hour. Stoned.
Why does every bad decision I make wind up having 1000 likes on YouTube?
Well you finally jumped into that tree you've always wanted into and some girl gave you an 8.5. You were very happy.
I was high last night eating a fudge bar and making eggs with toast and corned beef hash for a 2 am snack and my dad asked what I was and the only reply I could think of was "I'm an adult."
I just want to trick people into going on dates with me so they can bring back to their houses and let me use their wifi.
Well the good news of being walked in on, my mom says your tits are pretty. Then she added that hers were like that once. Fml
Oh my God it's like my cock was dipped in lava
ugh my stomach is so upset-- didn't get a chance to take a violent enough hangover shit at work
Do thigh high boots and a ball gag count as a costume?
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