she was so not down for the gang bang
So... how did lowering your standards work out last night?
I just woke up in the back of his van. Bring me a sunkist.
Call me in 2 minutes and go along with what I say. You're hysterical and I must go comfort you asap. He just asked if I was ready to experience sex with a wizard and he wasnt kidding.
Ughh on my way to the bathroom now... literally just puked on myself and cleaned it off with a hot dog bun... I love tailgate
So I missed her say 'don't' before 'come in me'. She felt what was happening and freaked - which actually made the moment 100x better.
We always say that. And then its 4am and someone is screaming at strippers.
he'll be my respectable boyfriend for tksgiving and i'll be his non-slutty girlfriend for christmas.
and then ....
he stays my gay friend and my parents think i'm not a slut.
This guy kept running around with a blender giving people shots of everclear and vodka. Best. Toga. Party. Ever.
This is great- I found hangover detoxifying bath salt online. It flushes out the alcohol. We need this.
Like I said I'm looking on the bright side. The bright side just happens to be filled with penis attached to hot marines
It wasn't a mystery that it was the pizza cooking in the oven when we stumbled out of the bedroom in a smoke filled apartment at 2am. We are dangerous drunks
I'm glad you found someone that both loves you and is cool doing coke off your tits. Proud of you.
Can u pick up some lemons on the way? I have Tequila and a sore throat..I need them for both
Longest 30 seconds of my life
10/10 so not recommended
Randomize