does it bother you that i swallowed like millions of your unborn children
actually, i try not to think about it
and i pooped them out
do herpes really smell.
I haven't even gone in yet. I'm sitting in the waiting room playing a game i like to call "Who else is here for AA".
Someone in my history class just FB messaged me saying they highly suggest I put my sunglasses on. He is sitting 18 rows in front of me...
He jacked off on my pillow when he found out I left. It was like coming home and finding that your dog, with separation anxiety, had pooped in your shoes. I think I'm flattered...
He waited exactly 18 minutes to booty call me after his break up.
Imagine if you could have something so delicious, like your taste buds went on LSD while eating a chocolate tiramisu. That's the opposite of what cum tastes like.
Luke did at least 8 shots of pure mayonnaise last night. I am not sure if that is better or worse than my 2 cement mixers?
don't trust your eyes. just sniff them. if they smell like axe, they are broke, move on to the next.
She said our goal is to fuck in every bathroom at the reception which is at a country club. I will have the best wedding date ever! Were 4 for 4 in public.
My mouth feels like it's at the dentist but my body feels like it's at the strip club.
They are doing the auction. One of the items in the auction is a grenade launcher.
Just witnessed some guy throw his fake eye at his dad's face. Actually, he whipped it at him.
I just tripped over a but plug that was on the floor. It's 430 in the morning
She asked what the dent on the hood of my car was from..i think she knows we had sex up there
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